Self-care is a buzzword, but it is not self-care in the truest sense of the word, because who would not want that? Self-sufficiency is good for us, for good love and good company, and self-care in the truest sense of the word is about you. It anchors the idea that everything is connected, that we are all connected in some way, shape, or form, whether we like it or not.
We need to develop thoughtful relationships to take care of ourselves and each other in a healthy way. As Socrates himself advocated, we can achieve this by looking after others in a healthy way, and we do so through healthy relationships.
The mission of self-care psychology is to help women find themselves how to deal with shit like this. We are supposed to encourage women to support each other, and we can only succeed if we are not alone.
A review of 148 studies concluded that “the influence of social relationships on mortality risk is a well-established risk factor, exceeding the influence of other factors such as age, gender, race, ethnicity, and education. Relationships and community are the keys to well-being, but all too often we forget how important that connection is. It is not accidental, it is a conscious and concerted effort by all of us. This is not an airy fairy tale, this is not an accident of nature, nor the result of an accidental event or even a coincidence.
Brene Brown defines it as “the energy that exists when people feel seen, heard, and valued when they can give and receive without judgment and draw nourishment and strength from relationships. Connectivity is self-sufficiency and that is what we should all strive for.
This is the community we need to grow, and this is a culture we need to foster, a place where we can be our true selves and be accepted in return. This is our community, our self-care, and our sanctuary, where we can not only be ourselves but also remain true to ourselves and accept ourselves in return.
It’s not always good for some women – we spend night after night parked in front of Netflix and can’t do our jobs because it’s just too much effort to connect. This behavior can be useful and relaxing, but it can easily become a trot from which we cannot escape, and we tear each other down in a momentary thrust.
How can we expand our support groups, take personal responsibility, and do what we can for ourselves and our fellow human beings?
It’s so easy to think that we’re too busy, that other things are more important and that spending time with friends and family can feel like a luxury, but it’s not. It is basic self-sufficiency, and we cannot remember whether we have ever brushed our teeth because we have too much to do. No man is an island, I have just discovered, so there is no man – no island – like life on the other side of the world, just as there is no man on this planet with the same amount of resources as you.
When people talk to you and share with you, listen to them, give back in full, enjoy your time, and have fun.
When people talk to you and share with you, listen to them, give back in full, and enjoy when you can, even if it’s just for a moment.
Someone once told me to listen when I think about what to say next when someone talks to me. Be open and honest, share your feelings with people you trust, get support, and share them. When you start to notice these basic skills, it’s surprising how shit you can be without them.
It’s easy to fall back on “good,” but give it a try and you’ll be surprised at how much it helps you and how good you feel.
Take an active part in building, maintaining, and building relationships with others and reaching out to people you haven’t seen in a while. Making friends is a skill you have to work on, but over coffee, I met people I’ve wanted to be friends with for ages.
After all of the above, be selective and think about how the people in your life contribute to your life. Do you want quality rather than quantity, or are some people simply toxic to you and your well-being?
On social media, think about who follows you, who you’re interacting with, and who you’re reacting to on purpose.
When I got a mail from The best you invited me to collaborate with them as Director of The Legacy Club, Delhi Chapter, I was thrilled because a human who supports human do incredible things. There is this beautiful idea that we need each other as a whole, to connect with others and help them on their way, is self-care yet beyond you.